last supper

Embarrassing moments happen, and I should have seen this one coming; there were warning signs.  Learning Chinese, as everyone told me before I left, is hard, and today I confirmed that conclusion during my final language test, a 30 minute conversation with an unbiased tester.  All week we’ve been preparing for this test by fielding rapid fire questions and doing role-playing with our language instructors, so my anxiety grew each day. 

drying a few hot peppers on the balcony

Another warning sign of my impending fall was a false sense that I was starting to understand more of what’s said around me.  At dinner last night when the conversation turned to what dishes I liked, I knew what to say right away because we had just practiced that conversation in language class.  I said a few that I know only because they are easy to say, not because I like them.  What my hosts were really asking is what I wanted for my last dinner with them tonight.

Everyone knows, including my hosts here, that me + hot spicy food = tears, sweat, and respiration problems.  Sichuan food is notoriously hot and spicy for a reason: lethal hot red peppers and Sichuan numbing peppers.  It’s a one-two punch, that’s in every dish, along with MSG.  One of the first things I learned to say in Chinese was, “not hot” when ordering food, which only means it’s not going to be as hot.

When I sat down with the tester, and she started asking me questions, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, or more accurately not hearing.  At one point, I actually thought, “What language is she speaking?”  And I knew I had to do something, but what?  We’ve all seen this happen, a nervous person just starts talking and talking, and that’s exactly what I did.  The more I talked, the more confused the tester looked, obviously wondering, “What language is she speaking?”  There were many low points, but the worse was when I asked her what job she had.  She works for the Peace Corps and I’ll see her tomorrow.

So, that didn't go well.  Fortunately, the PC gives us a language allowance to pay for tutoring.

Tomorrow, all trainees move to a hotel for a weekend of more training.  On Monday, with much pomp and circumstance, we have our swearing in ceremony, and then reality sets-in as we head off to our new teaching jobs.  And for me, a look at my apartment after full week worry and many, many conversations.  It's a story that needs pictures and a video.

What I wanted most of all this afternoon was my friends, Queen of Nails, and a G&T.